The Journey!

I am a person who can watch back to back movies. We had a long weekend here in India (4 days straight official off) - I spent watching lots of movies, I had watched the Lord of the rings trilogy and this weekend I watched the whole trilogy back to back- 12 hours straight.. Yea! I am a bit crazy I felt rejuvenated when I watched this movie this time, cause I could so relate this movie with my real life too.

In my life journey by far, there have been situations where I felt: why am I been given this opportunity? Why am I supposed to do this? Why did this happen to me?

We don't have control over what situation that we'll have to face but all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. There are people along the way in your life in the form of your friends, family, well-wishers, enemies (you learn the most from your enemies) etc. who will help you face these situation and meet your goal. In this journey to achieve your goal, you build network and relationships for life. There is no man who has achieved his goals by himself- this is so true. It is always the people around you who have helped you do so, you might have visibility to just a few who were there in your sight. But we always forget that to put a great show on stage, there is a huge team working back-stage and is not in your sight but helping you put up a great show. So 'Frodo' (lead character from the movie, who had responsibility to throw the ring in 'Mordor') wouldn’t have been able to do so without his friend Sam, Weagle (the guide to 'Mordor'), Gandalf, Strider, Legolas, Elves, soldiers, trees etc. Even the orcs (enemy) took him closer to his destination. In similar way, we will have such characters in our lives too, the least we could do is recognize and respect the efforts put in by others, rest is all perks.

The next most important aspect I learnt is that there few not so good things we possess about us and its not good either for us or people around us.. nobody is perfect! But letting that thing go which you have been attached to for a while and though its impacting you negatively and you also know it has a negative impact upon others around you. Yes, this is the 'ring' that I am talking about, it is so attractive, might give you some personal benefits and power. The journey of destroying that 'ring' is the responsibility you have; you will have some people who would want you to retain it, you just need to know who they are- it’s very important. The other important thing is you need to know how you differentiate the ones who are for you and ones against you (in good spirit). You end up making some mistakes about people, but when you realize that you have done so.. The least that you can do is apologize and make up for it. Saying 'sorry' isn’t that difficult but forgive and forget is even more difficult. Irrespective of what the result is, if you apologize, you can just be patient for the other person to forgive and forget. People might forget what happened, how it happened, but they won’t ever forget how it made them feel; you cannot do much about that fact, but saying 'sorry' at the right time and being there for them will just help you and other moving on. This is an unsaid expectation and it’s up to us to realize it.

Some wise man once said to me, it’s not what you do is important, but what impact it has caused in someone else's life which makes a difference.

The butterflies in my stomach

I am going on my first long vacation.. To a place where I have my brothers and many other relatives and friends. This is going to be my first international trip too all by myself.

It is so funny, at times things happen to you when you are least thinking about it. Going to US was not even on my mind and it just happened all of a sudden out of nowhere.

I really needed a break from daily chaos to think bout what do I need to do next. I don't know if I am a good planner. 

Few days ago, I was going through some of my college/ school scrap book, pictures, greetings, letters- I was reading stuff what my friends wrote bout me/ for me. I also found some stuff which I wrote when I was in college and never published it. And it was really a very weird feeling that I dint remember how was I in college/school. Of course I do have a lot of memories to cherish all my life during those days and so far most wonderful days of my life. But I dint remember how was I?

Most important thing which I realized on this day is that certain situations which happened, changes you completely from what you were. Change is for good but it does has some repercussions too. I wonder if the a total change and when you learn bout yourself and you say- "was that me! Really?" 

Growing up at times takes away so much from you and also gives a lot in return too. 

Another impactful change of my life was when I started giving away pieces of me to someone who wasn't going to be a part of my future. Love teaches two things most importantly 1. Being selfless and 2. Being helpless. And in most of the situations you deal with it either selflessly or helplessly. This part of my life changed me to a complete different person. Yes, I still carry this emotional baggage and just trying too hard to let it go. And I wonder- how do I? Most important lessons this part of my life taught me is: never lose your individuality over anybody, you have right to do things you want to do (never forget that and never underestimate yourself) and being loved in return is as much important as loving someone. 

So this one trip has a lot of actions which are on me. I have butterflies in my stomach too as I am going to meet my brother after almost 8 years. I am going to be away from my family, friends and work for a long time. And I may also experience what it takes to be 'happy' and even feel how is it when you are 'happy'. 

I will undergo another change process for a short time and I wonder how long will the effects of this short change last... My travelogue which today I presume will have a lot of action, drama and fun starts 10 days from now! And pre-holiday drama and fun starts today.. 

Who am I?

One wears multiple hats on daily basis.. A loved person at home, friends with friends, being what others want you to be at work.. N some network with others. Multiple relationships one person. Have you ever thought that while you play so many roles who you actually are? You have been different with different people.. What defines you??? In our busy lives.. We barely spend or get to spend anytime for ourselves to reflect within to understand one self. There is this reality show called Big Boss.. The concept of this show is that you are away from your family, friends, peers etc with no access to Technology.. And you are put up with all strangers in the house and you have to live with them! As this show starts one tries to be nice n goodie to every other person on the show.. It tests how long can you refrain from being your true self.. What's your break even point.. How much can you take it.. 

There could be some people who are indifferent to others.. These set of people might have different challenges.. As you always want to be treated differently! 

The most interesting study one can do is on humans.. It's so unpredictable and you end up learning bout this specie all your life and still haven't learnt enough bout it..

Perceptions are not reality!!

There is a thin line between perception and judgemental.. Remember the saying 'if you judge people you won't have time to love them'. Change is the only constant factor and this stands true for all human beings too.. People change with time as their situations change.. Their thought process changes.. One cannot hold what they perceive bout others all their life! 

Give them benefit of doubt and put yourself in their shoes to understand where they are coming from. Creating an opinion bout others is too easy but understanding others is maturity. 

Let go of things and move on. Don't hold grudges.. Be open. If you are closed then you are not letting anybody in..  As quoted by Aristotle: In the arena of human life the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.

The Plan

We all make so many plans.. Weekend movie plans.. Vacation plans.. Wedding plans.. Work plans.. And also measure the outcomes of each of these plans..

Some of us master the skill of execution and meet the required objectives within/before/delayed timelines.. Some of us master planning but just cannot execute and measure are vague.. And just a few who are great in both of the areas.

At work this is such an important skill.. One can grow in an organisation just too fast when he/she learns this skill.

What happens when this comes to our real life's? We just cannot predict the future.. We are dependent on people who will either help us get there or stop us from going there.. How many times have we been in a situation where we sit back and think that it's just not going the way I planned.. It tears us apart and bringing ourselves together and coming out stronger from any mess that we got ourselves into is what we learn.

Just go with the flow keeping the end goal in mind. It hurts less and isn't lame but smart.. You can just have a right now plan as you cannot predict the future anyway!!

No stress

It's an art not to be stressful at all. A trick that works wonders and is just common sense which is so uncommon. 

We are stressed cause of some people or in a situation.. When this occurs just ask yourself 'is it worth it?' If your answer is 'yes' just vent it out and if its otherwise then you know what to do.

One doesn't need lessons for stress management.. It's just so simple.

Don't worry.. Be happy! Life is too short to be stressed.

Human Logic

I realized that we are behave the way we are programmed. We are been trained and taught things in life right the day we were born. How to behave, eat, sleep, study etc. Our minds were programmed and we built in logic, have an emotional intelligence cause of which we got an ability to define things we come across in life. Then why do we get confused at times? Even though you know all the logic, you think illogically- what happens to the emotional intelligence sometimes? We adjust to things in life that we never liked but they have happened to us therefore we adjusted, thereafter adjustment became a habit as we are scared of what our family will think, friends will think, relatives will think, the world will think. Adjusting to a situation when you are helpless and can’t do anything once in a while is fine but don’t build that as a habit. I read somewhere- if you forgive once, it’s easier for others to hurt you. 

Since you have allowed others to do that to you, sometimes you don’t have answers to your questions which leads to you being a problem yourself to solution of your life problems- this is what I called being ‘confused’ and confusion leads to not knowing your own self, not realising what you want out of life- in our daily chaos it’s not in our priority list- we have so many things to look after EMI’s, work, family, socialising. And then suddenly we realise one day that our busy lives we have forgotten all about our own self- that’s when we seek ‘art of living’ classes, meditation etc to learn what we want out of our life.

So, the point is why do we need to wait for so long just to realise this fact? Why not try knowing yourself now? Loving yourself now? Don’t forget one logic- love yourself selflessly and not selfishly.

The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly light-hearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his/her feelings or tries to keep his/her spirits high. One seems self-sufficient; becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.